Last Kiss
by Corbeauxx
Summary: A fic inspired by Pearl Jam's remake of the song Last Kiss BuffyAngel Angst Fic


Name: Last Kiss  
Author: Erisyn ((Erisyn@yahoo.com))  
Disclaimers: I do not own Buffy, Angel or any of the other characters in this story. Nor do I own the song or the lyrics of the song "Last Kiss".  
Dedications: This one goes out to those who have supported me and encouraged me over the past 2 years: Mandy and Lisa. You know who ya are. Hugs You guys are the best!  
  
  
  
  
" . . . I've been without her before of course. It is just worse now. I suppose because before . . . I didn't know her. I didn't realize how much I loved her." Angel stopped writing and placed the small black leather bound book on the table beside him. He ran his fingers through his spiky hair and sighed. He had been trying so hard to keep her from . . . coming back to him. He was trying to keep her memory at bay. But he couldn't. It made it all the more difficult when he had Willow calling him every other day, telling him how much Buffy needed him. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the couch.   
Willow. He loved her as a sister, but . . . she was really beginning to annoy him. He let out an exasperated sigh as he looked at the answering machine. 15 messages. And ever last one of them was from Willow, begging him to come back. Something horrible had happened? He frowned. He couldn't help now. Not . . . not now. He grabbed the book and started towards his room when he heard the coughing sputter of an engine of a car coming down the long and winding driveway. "What the?" he questioned as he glanced out the front window to see Giles' Citroen rounding the last curve. "Damn." He breathed and replaced the book to its place on the table as he went to the front door.  
A soft knock and he pulled open the door, shock coursing through him as he realized it was Buffy at his door, and not the stolid librarian. Something was horribly wrong. He could tell that just from one glance. Her hair was a mess, falling from the clasp she had pulled it back into. Her eyes were red from insomnia, and tears. Her lipstick was smeared across her cheek, as if she had forgotten that she was wearing it and wiped her hand across her mouth. Streaks of mascara trailed down her face from her tears, and at the sight of him, she began to cry again. "Angel." She broke down and within a second's time, she was across the threshold and crying in his arms.   
"Buffy." He whispered, and he just held her as he backed towards the couch. He sat down and cradled her in his arms. A familiar position, one that brought back too many memories. And he knew it was a mistake to even touch her this way. "Buffy, what is it? What's wrong? Why are you here?" he questioned. A sob answered him. He frowned and released the clip from her hair, running his fingers through the tangled honey-gold strands of her hair. He kissed the top of her head, every move taken from a page of their history. Closing his eyes, he wrapped his arms around her and ignored the pain that flared up in his heart.  
It seemed years later that her tears finally stopped and she raised her head to look at him. "Angel? I'm sorry." She whispered as she looked down at his white T-shirt, noticing the mascara and lipstick stains there now. He smiled slightly and touched her face lightly, wiping away another tear.   
"Don't worry about this." He said softly and narrowed his eyes. "I've got plenty of others. But . . ." he trailed off and lifted her chin. "No, it can wait. Come with me." He said and rose, lifting her with him. He took her hand and led her into the kitchen and sat her at the ebony table. He grabbed a towel and filled a glass with water, joining her at the table a few moments later. He dipped the end of the towel in the water and then lifted her chin. He looked into her eyes for a moment, the pain that was there causing his heart to ache, before he began to wipe away the mascara and lipstick.   
"Thank you Angel." She whispered as he finished up. He nodded and folded the towel before turning back to look at her again.   
"Buffy, what's wrong. What's happened?" he questioned, not holding back any longer. He needed to know.   
Buffy's lip began to quiver, but she swallowed back the tears that were threatening to fall and took a deep breath. "It's Giles." She said, her voice hoarse. "Giles. . . Xander. . ." she broke off, her eyes filling with tears. "No, no I need to say it." She whispered to herself and looked up at him, another tear streaking down her face. "I couldn't save him." She whispered. "I couldn't stop him from going out. You know how stubborn he can be. He was so upset. . ." she said and Angel narrowed his eyes. She could be talking about either man. Xander and Giles could both be quite stubborn.  
"Buffy, who?" he questioned and took her hand, squeezing it softly. She smiled slightly and then her face crumpled as her tears began to fall hard again.  
"X-Xander. . . he . . . oh god Angel. He was angry with me. Giles and I were hiding this. . . this demon." She cried and sucked in a breath as she tried to gather strength to go on. "I. . . he stormed out when he found out we were keeping it from him. He. . . went out alone. And she attacked him." She broke down, unable to go any further. Angel listened with growing horror. Xander, dead? No, they hadn't been the best of friends, ever. But Angel had never wished harm on him. Ok, unless you counted that time Buffy had come back from the summer with her father. . . and. . . Angel let that thought trail off as he took Buffy from the other chair and slid her into his lap.  
"Shhh. . ." he whispered, and smoothed a hand over her hair. "It's all right. There was nothing you could do to stop it." He whispered and Buffy jumped up then, anger at herself burning bright in her eyes.  
"That's where you're wrong Angel! I was right THERE! I was just around the corner, but I had stopped to stake one of her minions. Damn it Angel! If I had just run. . . he'd still be alive. He'd. . . He wouldn't have. . ." she let out a choked sob before shaking her tears away, anger returning. "She made him a vampire Angel." She said and glared at him. "Why did you leave her alive? Why? Why didn't you kill her when you had the chance?" she questioned, and the sorrow in her voice was enough to bring tears to his eyes.   
"Was it Drusilla?" he questioned, his voice weary. Buffy nodded, crossing her arms over her chest in an expression of anger.   
"She turned him. And he went after Giles." She said and the implications of what she said hit him. He looked up at her, his eyes wide.  
"Giles? Oh God Buffy. I'm sorry." He said and she nodded, anger had taken the place of sorrow now.   
"You should be. This is your fault as much as it is mine." She hissed angrily and began to pace. "Xander went after Giles, continuing where you left off. I-I found him. And the chainsaw." She whispered, her voice cracking. Angel winced at the mental image that formed in his mind, and tried to block the torture he had actually performed on the Watcher. He frowned, turning his head away from her to face the wall, unable to stop the images. Buffy watched, and she knew what he was thinking.  
"Enjoying your memories? Yeah, it was from you Xander got the idea." She hissed and came forward as Angel looked at her again. She drew back her arm and slapped him as hard as she could as she broke down in tears again. Angel winced at the pain before she fell into his arms again. He cradled her against him as his own tears began to fall. He had never hated Giles, except when Angelus took over. Giles, he had actually once considered a friend. He had hated that after the return from Hell, Giles had never accepted him again, and Angel could understand that. He had killed his girlfriend and tortured him, physically and mentally.  
"I'm sorry Buffy. I'm so sorry." He whispered, choking on his tears. Buffy looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes.   
"You know, you really are." She cried and shook her head. "Why did I come here? Why?" Angel squeezed her closer to him and kissed her forehead.  
"You came to me because that's what you needed." He said softly. "You needed someone to tell you that it was their fault. Because in all honesty Buffy, this is all my fault." Buffy sighed and tried to keep her tears back.  
"I don't want to blame you Angel. It wasn't entirely your fault." She whispered and looked into his eyes. "You didn't know. You could never have guessed." She said as she rose. She walked over to the answering machine and pressed play. It was her voice that exited the machine. Sobbing, but Buffy nevertheless. All 15 messages. "Willow gave me your number. She's gone into shock. She won't speak to me, she won't speak to anyone. When I asked her where you were, where I could get in touch with you. . .she merely handed me a slip of paper with 'He's not answering my calls' written on it in shaky handwriting. She won't even look at Oz. He came over to comfort her, but. . . her Mom sent him away. I don't know what to do. I didn't know who to turn to. I. . . I usually go to Giles. . ." she said and bit her lip to hold back the tears.   
Angel rose and put his arms around her again, locking her in a hug. "It's all right Buffy. I'm here. I'm sorry I ever left you." He breathed into her hair. . .  
It seemed that they stayed that way for hours, when in reality it was about 15 minutes before she pulled away, wiping her face. "I. . . I need to get back. I need to be with Willow, to be there for her." She whispered, and grabbed the Citroen's keys from the counter. Angel quickly took them from her, before she even realized what was happening.   
"I'll drive." He said simply and Buffy looked up at him, eyes shining as she nodded.   
"Thanks."  
  
~.~ We were out on a date, in my Daddy's car,   
~.~ We hadn't driven very far,   
~.~ There in the road, straight ahead,   
~.~a car was stalled the engine was dead.   
~.~ I couldn't stop so I swerved to the right,   
~.~ I'll never forget the sound that night.   
~.~ The screaming tires, the busting glass,   
~.~ the painful scream that I heard last   
  
He had tried to stop. Tried so hard, but the Citroen's brakes failed. They weren't even 5 minutes from Willow's house. But it was over in an instant. They were both thrown from the car, Angel into a ditch on the left side of the road, Buffy into the street.   
"Buffy. Oh dear god Buffy??" he cried out, clutching his own side where his broken ribs had pierced through his skin. He saw the honey coloured hair lying in the street and panic coursed through him. "No! No!" he screamed as he crawled to her side. A pool of blood was already forming beneath her body, and scent was intoxicating. Heady, rich, sweet. . . full of everything. Full of the world. Full of her death.   
"Buffy!"  
  
~.~ When I woke up the rain was pouring down,   
~.~ There were people standing all around  
~.~ Something warm was runnin' in my eyes   
~.~ But I found my baby somehow that night   
~.~ I raised her head, and then she smiled and said   
~.~ Hold me darling for a little while   
~.~ I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss   
~.~ I found the love that I knew I would miss   
~.~ Now she's gone, even though I hold her tight   
~.~ I lost my love, my life ... that night.  
  
Buffy opened her eyes and winced at the pain that ran through her. He saw fear in her eyes as she looked at him, and he suddenly realized that his face had reverted to it's demonic form. He cursed his nature and turned his eyes away as the rain began to fall. "Angel? Angel. . . Hold me." She whispered. He turned back to her to see acceptance in her eyes. "Just hold me." Her voice was weak. Too weak.   
"Hold on Buffy." He whispered as he pulled her injured body into his arms. "Hold on. You're strong. The ambulance will be here." He said softly. He wasn't sure how he knew it, but he did. There was an ambulance on the way at that very moment, but she smiled.  
"No. It's too late for me. I can see him, can you?" she questioned, looking at the empty air in front of her. "He's calling me home. I don't want to leave you." She whispered and returned her gaze to Angel. "But it's time." Angel shook his head.  
"I can't let you go Buffy." He growled, and she sighed. Her face still holding a blissful expression.   
"You don't have a choice." She whispered. "I love you Angel. Don't forget me?" Angel shook his head, bitter tears falling down his face, mingling with the rain.  
"I can't let you go Buffy. . ." he choked out. "I'm sorry. Please, forgive me." He said, as the blood that was streaming from her wounds became too much, even for him. He lifted her body, feeling it go limp in his arms and buried his head in her neck, as his tears fell faster, harder and his fangs descended into her broken skin.  
He drank and dreamed of what might have been. What life without her would have been like. He drank and hoped that she would forgive him. He gave her a last kiss, a kiss of eternity. A kiss of life. He pulled away, gasping for breath as he bit his own wrist and held it to her lips.  
"Drink." He ordered her. "Drink and be with me always." A whisper upon the drops of rain. A whisper to her soul, and only when he felt the pull of her lips upon his blood, did he realize the implications of what he had done.  
"Oh dear Lord." Angel cried out to the rain. "What have I done?! What have I done?!" he yelled out and picked her up, her lips still sucking mindlessly at his wrist. "Buffy! Oh god." He cried and he began to run. He ran and ran, unthinking, only stopping when Willow's house loomed out of the rain.   
"WILLLLLLLOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!" Angel's voice rang out over the sound of the thunder, over the pouring rain. . . as the vampire by the name of Buffy began to stir.  



End file.
